As a teenager I dreamt of my first boyfriend who would be my husband; he’d be Christian, dark complexioned, Taller, older, wiser, and everything more than I am, so that he would be my hero, my World. He would literally carry me into my dream life.
At that same age, all I saw Jesus as was a ticket for the flight to Heaven. I didn’t really care to dream about His face or conceive a specific kind of future with Him as an individual. He was God, and that was it.
But ofcourse my boyfriend would be my life. We’d speak everyday, I would bare out my heart to him, there’d be nothing I couldn’t share with this guy.
Whereas, my prayers were onesided; Jesus didn’t speak back but it didn’t bother me.
What was on my mind was the eagerness to be Twenty so I could say ‘Yes’ to my Love interest, and then we could go on dates, and say the magical three words.
As soon as I clocked twenty I took the full plunge into romantic relationships. I got jitters in the pit of my stomach whenever I saw my date, I dreamt of his face day and night.I bragged about ‘my boyfriend’ to my peers.
But I was yet to stand in front of a class to talk about Jesus. I knew there was more I should be doing for Him, I would be in Church and hear Him calling out to me. My face had constant water works in every service. Jesus was asking me out; He wanted to get to know me, He had loved me even before I was formed in my mothers womb. I knew my relationship with this particular man was suffering.
I would wipe my eyes and step out of church to the arms of my boyfriend. Sometimes we would talk about the other man, Jesus, but we never let Him interfere.
I’m almost twenty-five now, I look back to all those years I spent seeking validation from the opposite sex and I can only wish I had gone after Jesus instead.
Those precious early years when He called out to me in my sleep, touched me in Church and whispered in the gentle winds. I was too struck by the desire to be in the arms of a man who would protect me I didn’t see Jesus.
Today, I see too many fifteen-year-old me; devoting their years to men, in a bid to be secure. Giving their innocence and youth in exchange for dependancy.
We’ve become women fully devoted to the search for ‘True Love’ yet we have no clue on how to access the Love of Jesus Christ already lavished on us.
He is our Savior yet we seek for a man who would be our Hero. He’s our Shepherd but still we crave for a man who would take care of us.
It’s never too late though, to start all over again. Retracing our steps to the place where He (Jesus) once stood with open arms and loving eyes.
This time I will establish my codependency with my creator rather than a human.
Do you think romantic relationships and fellowship with Christ are equally important?