Trust issues

 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; (Proverbs 3:5 NIV)

This september, it’s my 2nd anniversary of being single! I’ve decided to celebrate my single years because i’ve figured i’m going to be single for a while. I’ve exited from the dating scene , i’m going back to undergraduate school where I’ll be surrounded by youngsters who only want to ‘go out’. Who am I kidding, at this rate and in this space i’ma be celebrating a 4th anniversary.

It’s okay to be single, in fact its advisable to be single, until you reach your mid-twenties when it becomes absurd. I read about a fifty year old woman yesterday still wondering if she’s not going about her love-life the right way and my gosh! I feared for my life. At that age to still be desperate and confused about marriage and Love is scary.

It made me begin to think about my own single life. With no green anywhere, no beacon anywhere. I literally do not know where I will find a man. I have closed the doors they can possibly come through, Oh yeah, beginning of this year I went off social media,😨 which single sane person  does that! In person i’m not even social. I’m in societal limbo; no where; not a student, not a worker, just in my parent’s house.
So, I thought this morning, if I want to not be fifty some day and still be asking for help from relationship specialists(no offense to those who fit this description) I should have a plan.

(Now what is it with plans, it’s such a neccesary evil. I feel devastated when they fall through but I cannot breath when I don’t have them. Just why is there such a thing as planning, argghh!)

Well so, there I went again working out a plan. This time, a plan of not being single by fifty. I immediately resurrected my Instagram and updated my profile, I was trying to post a photo but I couldn’t because I deactivated my Facebook (I think). It was so frustrating, its like fb is the Lord of social media now. I fell back on my butt, and just took a minute. What really was I doing?

I don’t want to be on social media because its not me- i’m not a social person, I’m an introvert. But I really don’t want to be single for too long either. How was I going to be able to meet my future husband? How was I going to be a healthy young woman with a future family in view? How, how and how?

The answer came in this bible scripture I found reading my devotional, Rhapsody of Realities,

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.(Proverbs 3:5-6NIV)

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