I experience heartbreak when friends stop being friends. And I know its not just me. It does hurt when people you once held invaluable and indispensable just disappear from your life.
I’m looking at this from my side of view, but it goes both ways; we walk out of other people’s lives too. They too think we’ve disappeared. And just like it hurts to be missing someone you love, i’m sure they’re hurting over losing you too.
Sometimes, we catch ourselves and we’re like, its been too long since I hung out with this person, I have to make contact. So you call or visit and you try to revive what you once shared with this person. But it can be like flogging a dead horse. They’re gone.
Heather Lindsey calls it, seasonal friendships in her vlog that blessed me so much. I was asking the Lord, why? And is it okay? To outgrow people. To let go of people. And He was trying to tell me, yes, it is. But I didn’t get it until I watched Heather’s video. It was a confirmation to what God was telling me.
Its fine if you discover you’ve stopped being friends with your bestie. As horrible as it sounds, its inevitable and actually okay.
Just be thankful for the time you had with them. You see, these kind of people fall under the category of ‘Helpers’: people God put in our lives at particular times for specific reasons. Once they’ve played their role in our life, the relationship is annulled. Going on fighting for the relationship to remain and survive is like crying over spilled milk.
What do you do?
*Pray for them.
*Sincerely care for them; if you’re neighbors or colleagues, or brethren(going to the same church), don’t see them and be hi hi like you’re now enemies. Share a hug, a smile or whatever. Genuinely. No matter how painful it is, with time you’ll get over it.
*Let them go:
Wisdom is acting on divine instruction.
Someone once said, friendship is not by force. Sounds rash but its true. Friendship is a choice. Its not bondage. You didn’t take a blood oath (even if you did The blood of Jesus is stronger). So just let ’em go. Sorrow if you may, but don’t sorrow for too long.
What if they were your only friend?
One human being cannot be your ‘only’ because there’s always Jesus and He’s everything to us.
I know how it feels. Cry when you want to, stare at their photo and wail if you wish, watch videos of them and miss them. But,
God put them in your life in the first place. He’ll find you another.
Don’t go calling summits and asking, did I offend you or things like that. Let ’em go. Its for the best. Their season is passed.
Its another phase of your life, Helpers will come.
How do we know which friendships are seasonal or unconditional?