Letters to my younger self. (On dating)

Dear Eighteen year old me,
I know you’re thrilled to be loosing the ‘teen’, I know you have a lot of goals reserved for when you’re an adult, yes, I know you can’t wait simply to be old enough. Old enough to do a lot of things including date.

You will be twenty three someday and wish you didn’t say yes to your first boyfriend. You’re going to squirm and ache when you remember the things you did with someone that saw you as a stop along the way to being a man.

You’ll be counting exes and heartbreaks, just so you know.  

You will wish you had observed rather than participated in this game called dating. 

You will long for your innocence: when you still believed in Prince Charming and Knight in shining armors but what you’ll  have is the ugly truth about men with a personal experience to hunt you.

Yes you will get up, dust yourself and move on but deep down inside of you you will wish you were whole and never got rejected.

Wait…..
For the right man. You’ll know him when he asks you to marry him and not to dinner.
Wait….
For your husband not your ex-boyfriend in progress.
Wait….
Just so you can get it right the first time because truth be told with every failed relationship there’s the death of something in your soul.
Wait….
Simply because you’re wise.

Wait…
Please wait.

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9 thoughts on “Letters to my younger self. (On dating)

  1. This is my favorite blog post of yours. I just went through a tough break up with my fiancé. I got dumped and it sucked, this right here lifted me up! You got a follower! Keep on blogging

  2. Lovely poem.
    Question: Do you think those past relationships had any bearing on the relationships you form now? Like, if you hadn’t dated a jerk, how would you have known your current partner is the right one?

    • Thanks Jemima.
      I haven’t met the right one and I blame it mostly on the distractions of dating. Maybe if I had been more observant instead of testing the waters I would be at least closer to finding the right man.
      Pls, share Jemima, has there been any personal benefits of yours from dating in general and from dating jerks?

      • The thing is though if you hadn’t testing the waters, you might have found yourself in over your head. Or you’d have settled down with someone and realised, along the line, that they’re not what you were looking for.
        I’ve never dated because… romantic relationships don’t really hold much interest for me. But I have had general interactions with jerks before. In particular, this guy who had a girlfriend but was still hitting on me. And now I can recognize the signs of cheaters. So it did have a benefit.

      • Wow. The thing is I find myself wishing I never ever dated. You’re right, maybe If I never dated i’d be wishing I had tested the waters first.
        Such is the irony of life.
        At the end of the day, when I weigh the pros and cons of dating and not dating I find the cons (regrets) haven dated spilling out.

      • Yeah but you can’t really say “end of the day” unless you’ve given up on dating forever or it’s literally impossible for you to date anymore.
        Who knows, you might meet that someone who’ll make you glad you dated in the first place and then the pros will be the ones getting spilt.

      • I guess you’re right. I can’t say ‘at the ending of the day’ yet cos i’m not married neither am I no longer eligible to date (if there’s anything like dating eligibility).
        I’m only learning to replace dating with healthier forms of romantic relationships like courtship for example.

  3. I missed a question there:
    Yes, true, dating kinda helped with my other relationships especially with guys, but in the long run dating did more harm than any good for me.
    There could have been other healthy ways to improve my relationships.
    Thanks again Jemima.

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